No one ever really prepared her for the first time she had to take someone’s livelihood away from them. None of her professors taught a lesson on how to approach the uncomfortable subject of firing one of her employees. Donald Trump’s ridiculous TV show “You’re Fired” didn’t help normalize the idea of being responsible for revoking someone’s source of income. She had only seen a few of her peers fired, and none of those managers took her aside afterwards and discussed the amount of forethought and confidence you need to execute such a decision. No one ever really told her that the weight of this decision is both crushing and uplifting all at the same moment.
She had been wrestling with this decision over the past month, to the point where she was physically exhausted from the mental battle. There was a constant tug of war occurring between her reasonable head and her bleeding heart, over whether firing her Assistant was the right decision or not. There was the fact that he simply did not meet the standards of the position, but then there was the fact that he has two kids and wife to support. There was his extreme level of unprofessionalism when talking to both employees and customers, but then there was his ability to talk his way into rationalizing any act. There was his obvious lack of knowledge on how to operate a computer, and then there was a facade of effort being put forward to improving his abilities. There was him staying in an enteral state of a 14-year-old boy, and then there was her always being willing to forgive, be patient and give others a chance. He had been offered a month of her forgiveness and understanding, and he instead took that forgiveness and proved that it was misplaced. There was a new transgression that occurred every day at his hands, and she would take a deep breath and forgive with the exhale. Until one day, she looked up on the exhale and realized that consciously or inadvertently, he was taking advantage of her forgiving nature. With a quick apology and slew of bullshit justifications, he would brush her advice or guidance off and only hear that he had made a mistake and she was ‘mad’. He constantly would revert back to a level of immaturity that she could only think to forgive because he was oblivious to how his actions negatively affected those around him. He played the role of innocent, goofy, easy to forgive boy, who makes small, innocent mistakes. It isn’t until you look further into the plumbing that you come to discover that he had not in fact just drop his phone down the toilet, he had actually first clogged the whole system with the curiosity of whether sponges would soak up all the water in the bowl, and then taken his phone out to take pictures of the evidence, and that’s when his phone had actually fallen in already clogged toilet. His actions were carefully crafted to give him the appearance of being busy all day, when in fact he spent his whole time distracting others with long-winded stories and eavesdropping on her conversations to see if she was yet again in a frustrated rant with one of the employees about the latest case of him not doing his job correctly. She often wondered if, in the nicest way possible, he had a learning disability and was simply just not understanding how to do his job in the first place. However, his constant slew of apologies for various mess ups only confirmed that he knew he was not meeting her expectations, yet he had no desire to really learn and grow.
He had classified her as just the pretty face from day one, and had disrespected her authority in the presence of the employees, yet would act like the good, innocent little boy who just can’t get it right when she was in the room. She had seemingly been played by his facade of busy work and round house of standard excuses and apologies, when in fact she had been avoiding the decision she knew needed to happen the entire time. She knew from day one that this partnership would either go very well or very badly, and if she would have trusted her instincts and acted in confidence she should have let him go a month ago. But no one had ever really prepared her for the day that she would be responsible for a whole family living off of unemployment; and no one ever really told her that the decision to be employed or not was in his hands the whole time, and that she was just the supervisor.