Having a moment to think, she took a deep breath and with the exhale, attempted to organize and prioritize her thoughts. She felt as if she were under attack from the task master that is work, and could easily get lost in the combat on the field if she doesn’t remember her training and technique. Looking for a place to take shelter from the destruction and chaos, she ducked under her desk for a moment of peace and a physical separation from all that demands her attention. In this moment of calm, she relaxed her eyebrows that were reflexively pulled to the top of her head in anticipation for the next bomb that would be thrown her way. Her breathing began to even out into a steady rhythm again, and she could also feel the adrenaline draining from her blood stream and relieving the indescribable pressure she felt all over.
Her job should not be the war-zone stress that it is, and she is baffled how she can get to this level of anxiety and stress, despite her conscious knowledge that the job she currently does is not a life or death matter. No one will lose a hand, should they not be able to make calls to customers or type out an email confirming their next order. However, the stakes are high in the vape business to make a lot of money and stay afloat, despite the seemingly easiness of selling drugs online to addicts. It’s not the exchange of the product itself that is so stress inducing however, it’s the people she works with and the general lack of knowledge and experience that is standard industry wide. Despite what she thought to be a menial amount of experience under her belt, having only graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management, she was in fact one of the most experienced and professional members of the staff. It is almost inconceivable in her educated mind, how a group of such under-educated people are able to keep a multi-million dollar business afloat. That’s when it struck her that some people just get lucky.
Glancing around her office at this unusual angle, she noticed a multitude of issues with her surrounding – the floor hasn’t been vacuumed in months, the trash hasn’t been taken out for weeks, the desk the she had retreated under was broken to fit the form of the office, and there was a dangerous rat’s nest of wires just piled onto the floor just outside of arm’s reach. It looked like college students had decided to move in, in the fashion that only college students do, half-assed and with a disregard for cleanliness. She had often compared the Board of Directors for this young company, to a team of frat boys that are running a drug operation from their clubhouse – the focus being on parties, intoxication, and trips to Vegas, versus studying and budgeting in order to finish out the school year with straight A’s. Despite having the most responsibility in the company, they wanted to play hard without actually working hard. The company appeared to be created for the soul purpose of having a space where the owners could get away from their wives and kids, like an exclusive boys-only club house. They made it very clear that girls were not welcome as well, unless they are dressed scantily clad and serving the men drinks. Now, this could be a fairly harsh evaluation of the people who paid her and helped her keep a roof over her head, unless you knew the inner workings of the company in question. This is the same company that has a Director of Finance who speaks broken English and had his Business degree completed by his Brother-in-law. This is the same company that allowed the word “breast” the slip out the owner’s mouth when they were interviewing a woman for a Supervisor position, and let it to linger without apology. This is the same company that did a mass force out of all the people who were with the company from its garage phase, in order to rearrange the Board of Director’s to seemingly only include the owner’s best friends. Resumes, education, and experience were deemed inconsequential for the group of frat boys who have the majority share in the company. This was driven home when in the interviews for Board members, their qualifying questions included asking how strong a member you were during the Vegas drinking competition, and if you will blindly execute any directions from the owners without question. They wanted to hire Yes Men, and blending in as one was slowly breaking down her confidence and creativity.