Behold, The Future

She looked around the room and knew that the scene that lay before her now was not in her future. The ceremonial blessing of the bride before she commits her life to be by the side of another. The awkward tension created by the collision of two worlds that previously existed in their own humming harmony of functional dysfunction, now being forced to intermingle in obligation to the single connection between them all. The carefully orchestrated flow of introductions, consumption of food, and all ages party games to appease the masses and keep all guests mildly entertained. The side room gossip over who is currently single, and which woman stole some other woman’s man. The sidelong glances to Facebook by younger relatives who showed up out of pure obligation, and had no visible interest in discussing marriage or an ounce of enthusiasm for yet another device to clean a house to a sparkling sheen, being unwrapped by the bride to be. The lavish spread of finger foods fit for a lady, accompanied by too many bottles of champagne to be decent for the current group of middle-aged women to consume in one afternoon.

As she observed the intermingling of humans striving to find another connection besides the woman of honor, she knew that this scene could not be recreated with the women placed in her life. There would be no estranged wife carefully circulating the room in avoidance of the new mistress. There would be no retreat of the cool cousins to drink in escape from the watchful eyes of their mothers. There would be no divorced Aunt constantly bringing the attention back to her failed experiences with marriage and lending warnings to the younger generations to not waste their time with this soul-sucking nonsense. There would be no mother beaming proudly at the side of her daughter, fretting over her every need and constantly checking if her own looks were well managed.

She had not previously thought that marriage was not an event that would be written into her future, however as she looked around the room, a feeling rushed into her stomach telling her that this event would not be recreated with her own cast of characters. She was not certain that her assuredness came from a knowledge that she would not find a partner and time in her life that she would wish to be bound to a single individual, till death do they part. Yet, she was not certain that her assuredness came from a knowledge that should she find a partner that she could not be separated from by any means and who she relied upon to help her be the best she could ever be, that she would do things differently, and change the ceremony to a celebration fit for the life that she lived and cherished. She was certain however, that no matter what lay in her future, it would be of her own creation and be written to her own tune. Despite her respect of ceremonies and their purpose, she felt the desire to reclassify this obligatory intermingling and gift giving to that of something less, perhaps more akin to a play. It appeared to her to be a scripted interpretation of a true sharing of love and well wishes – an interpretation of the joy your heart is overflowing with when you see your child take their first step, the love radiating from two best friends locked in each other’s embrace and completely at peace with the world in that moment, or the pride your chest swells with as you see your little sister make the decision to choose respect and kick that sleazy boy to the curb before he ever had a true chance. She would have genuine interactions and exchange of love in her future. It would be filled with both the women that she had always looked up to for wisdom and guideance, and the ones that had stood by her side as she had searched for her way over all those years. She would have a mother who would shy away from the spotlight being shined on the apple that fell from her tree, yet she would be uplifted by all the women in her life to that spotlight in celebration of her and the life she chose to live. Whether or not she would follow suit of the many women before her by joining in holy matrimony, she knew that it would be her life and only scripted by herself, and that was enough of a reassurance of happiness and satisfaction in life that she needed.

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