Dear T

Dear Tim,
I want you to know that I hate that you stole my morning from me and made it focused on you. I have just one hour in the morning where I ask that no one talk to me, and I put on the best resting bitch face possible, but then you had to come in and ask me what happened to your kitchen utensil, as if I am the keeper of the kitchen. Well guess what? I did put away that rubber spatula you have been looking for for a total of three seconds, in the drawer where it belongs, versus sitting in the drying rack for days. What do you think I am? A house elf just waiting to pick up after you? This kind of constant cleaning drives me crazy, and it is just in an attempt to make the space liveable for me and the other five people who are packed into this house. Your level of unawareness of others and their needs is appalling to me, and it’s no wonder that you have labeled yourself as being difficult to live with. However, labeling yourself as such does not make it excusable. When you agree to live in a home with five other people, for the benefit of splitting costs, you can’t assume that you will be living completely to your preferences – you need to be willing to make some compromises.

 In retrospect, I apologize for the way I reacted when you confronted me about the spatula, that was months of frustration boiling to the surface reflexively. I was in the wrong and I apologize for my innocent blunder that was made in an attempt to clean up the kitchen after making a feast for everyone to enjoy. I apologize that you have the tendency to leave other people’s things laying all around the house and I have just begun to clean up after you as well. I apologize for reacting in the same manner as you would, with instinctual denial of performing the act, despite evidence being skewed in your direction. I apologize for trusting you with my things and expecting you to treat them with respect, because you have proven time and time again that that trust is misplaced. And I am sorry that your parents raised you in a manner that reinforces these actions, and cultured you with little sense of the morals others commonly operate under. It’s not your fault that you were raised the way you were, but now it is time to move past that and figure out the way you really want to live life, versus the way that your parents set you up to. It is ultimately your choice.
P.S. Maybe you can learn to live with us in a way that works for everyone. You are a wonderful person, with many wonderful traits, you just have to give yourself some credit where credit is due and admit when you have made a mistake. That is probably the most difficult part, just swallow your pride and admit it. It sucks, it’s embarrassing, and it’s shameful, but it is even more shameful to  allow others to take the blame that was rightfully yours to own. Pushing that off on others only makes one person feel guilty and secretly ashamed in the end – you. Trust me, I know from experience.

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