Fuck You? Or Fuck Me?

God Damn It, I think I love you.

I tried to deny it but I think it’s fucking true.

Because there is something about the way you do the things you do,

That makes me think that I might need you.

You are careless and free,

And possibly the worst thing for me.

You are immature and yet so wise,

And I can see it all so plainly in your captivating eyes.

You are destructive by nature,

But that is something I have always leaned towards,

Because it is a sense of freedom that I find in your support,

And it is the thrill of recklessness that I find with you as my cohort.

I know that you are my Kryptonite,

And I know that I would happily lose this fight,

To finally end my struggle against the thing that I crave so deeply,

And the attraction that I can’t seem to shake from within me.

I’ve told myself this is a bad idea,

And I’ve come to terms with the fact that you are my sick ideal.

I know that I am powerless when you lean in for a kiss,

And I know that everything about you is something I miss.

I crave your touch and I beg for your influence,

Because you ignite something inside of me that feels like life,

And you provide me moments that soothe and lessen my strife.

You are my biggest comfort and my greatest fear,

And I am unsure if this is anything that you really want to hear.

I know that I am a source of torture for you as well,

And both of us know that this something that might not end well.

We know that our personalities will clash,

But we also know that we will have the last laugh,

Because we will find a way to make this not work for us,

And it will be exactly what is best for us.

We will learn from each other,

And we will learn from this struggle,

Or at least I hope I will,

Because you are too much for me to conceal.

You have made a mark on me,

And that is plain for you to see,

Unless you do not care,

And my body was the only thing that provided you despair.

Because it may be that shallow for you,

And none of what I say may be the truth.

I may have made this all up in my head,

And all you were really seeking was to get me to your bed.

So fuck you for allowing me to go through this torture alone,

And fuck this for being something that I miss.

I think I love you,

But I think I might hate you more,

And I know that this was everything and nothing that I was searching for.

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