It Happened to a Friend

I’m sure he never meant to become addicted, but there was something to be said for boredom and the power it can hold within us, with misleading circumstances and no chance at passing by them, there was an easy solution to this, a past time that seemed to do the trick,

I’m sure it started slowly, without purpose, just another crazy act completed by another wild band kid, holding too much creativity to cope with, too much brainpower to be humbled, too much to say, and a limited time to say it,

with his overdose approaching, his designated day of passing, that day they said it was an automobile accident, and we all thought that it was the last shot of an addict, denying that it happened, but almost knowing that it was coming,

I had not recognized the signs of him changing, I only knew him briefly, and he intimidated me with his intelligence and wild habits, I never thought we had a connection,

until that night outside of the theater, when he stopped me and said he needed better friends, that he wanted to create new habits,

at the time I did not understand the significance of what was said, I thought was just being polite to an old classmate, or hitting on the friend I was with,

when looking back, it was his best attempt at asking for assistance, the closest that he would come to admitting addiction,

it made sense later when he asked to walk instead, he was trying to be a good friend, an influence that could still be saved, since what he was carrying could get me arrested, could put us all away just for being the friend of an opioid addict,

it made sense when he told me to be honest, that white lies can deeply hurt someone, that I should live my life more open,

I could sense his struggle but could not put a label on what it was, when I was too naive to put together the assumptions, and he was too kind to destroy my image of him,

as the most intelligent kid in high school, the most talented drummer in the band group, the most unexpected influence I have ever met,

he tried to make this life fit, he took every class he could as the community college, continued playing instruments, tried out being polyamorous, he even attempted rehab, but this life got to him in the end,

and the more I grow the more I realize, that I wish I still had the privilege of his influence, even if we weren’t friends, I wish he was still living, I wish I could see his opinion on social media, and I wish I had taken the opportunity to be his friend, maybe then he would have had a shot at still living, or maybe I wouldn’t have been the addict who lived.