I am tired of this.
And once again I repeat myself.
I am tired of you.
For reasons that you can’t seem to tell.
I am tired of everything.
Since you never seem to lend support.
I am tired of helping you.
And everything that you fail to do…
I have no support.
When you were supposed to be my friend.
And I did everything I can.
I helped you get through.
And I watched everything you went through.
I was there lending support.
And you were there taking whatever was given…
I did not think it would result like this.
I never considered that you could sink this low.
Since I used to look up to you.
I thought you might have the answers.
I was sure that you could help me.
But instead I ended up living life for you…
I am exhausted.
And you do not help provide relief.
Since I escaped from my problems to yours.
And I am tired of trying.
You insist on your lies.
And I can no longer trust you.
But I want to trust that you are there for me…
I want to know that I am not alone.
I need this dependence to end.
But you can’t seem to understand where I come from.
Since you don’t see what I see.
And you refuse to believe in yourself.
It has becoming tiring to say the least.
And I think I no longer value your influence…
I am tired of what I have to say.
I need to move on.
Since I no longer want to blame you for my anger.
I no longer want to consider you a nuisance.
I want to value you.
And I want you to stop looking to me for support.
I want you to move on too…
And I want to feel no guilt about making the first move.
I want you to want this.
You need to begin again.
Since you no longer live like an adult.
And I’m not sure you ever did.
You speak words of experience.
But I cannot trust anything you say these days…
So I choose to see value in you.
And I choose to stand by your side.
But it is growing wearisome for me.
And you need to finally listen.
To the fact that I am approaching the end.
You will soon be cut off…
I don’t want this to end on bitterness.
But I need you to recognize what I am feeling.
I need you to be the friend I always was.
Or I need to realize that we never were friends to begin with.
But I don’t want that.
I want to support you.
But I need to support me too.
Because the truth is that I truly love you.
I hate that you do these things that you do,
Because the truth is that I have more faith in you,
Then you seem to ever gather,
And you never seemed to believe,
That you are someone who can change it all around,
Because you are never willing to put your head down,
In an effort of focus and a practice of self-discipline,
Recognizing and allowing your true feelings in,
Of regret and disappointment,
Allowing yourself to feel some guilt for the things you forgot,
While you were drinking and smoking your life away,
And delaying your opportunity to convey,
The dreams you once had for this life.
But I am coming to the realization now,
That you might have never had dreams then or now,
And you might have just been scraping by,
Waiting for the next opportunity to get high.
I might have misplaced my faith,
And you were always destined for this fate,
Of destitution and disablement,
Unable and complacent.
I am beginning to think that you always struggled,
And that I am harping on old issues for which you have no rebuttal,
Because you have never tried to change,
And I am the first to make you face your pain,
Leaving me in the role of the older sibling,
Allowing you the chance to listen,
To the struggles and experiences I have been through,
And the things that they could teach you.
But you don’t want to listen,
And I am beginning to lose faith in you,
Because you continue to do the things you always do.
Leaving me to debate if my efforts are worth it,
And if I saving someone who deserves it,
Since again and again I extend a helping hand,
And again and again I am burned in the end.
So here is your last chance for redemption to see,
Or at least I think it will be,
That you are taking me for granted,
And I will no longer be taken advantage,
Because you will be cut off,
And I will do it without a fifth thought.